Tales From The Toybox

This is the Motorola V3 RAZR in Hot Pink

 Notice the sleek design…

Envy its sophisticated style 

Admire the way it opens…and closes Because once you purchase one that’s the only thing worthwhile that it can do. Presenting MY Motorola V3 RAZR in Hot Pink 

Notice it’s very similar to the one pictured above, however upon closer inspection…

 You see there is NO time on the front display, because the front display doesn’t work! Notice also the battery life…  

I’m sure you’re thinking to yourself, “Wow, Kim. That beautiful little Motorola V3 RAZR in Hot Pink that your dear sweet hubby bought you for $199.99 WITH a new 2-yr. contract on your first Mother’s Day as the mother of his child MUST have been off the charger for several days to have entirely drained the life out of the battery that way.” Well, if that’s what you are thinking you are sadly mistaken. No, this lovely little POS that my dear sweet hubby surprised me with two years ago has been relaxing in and electrically-charged vacation for nearly 26 hours now. You’d think I’d have several days worth of talk time but I literally have just enough time to pull it off the charger, dial 911 (no time for a 7-digit number) and pray to God they answer before the incessant, ear-piercing low-battery alert begins squawking so loudly that neither me nor the operator prepared to document my “emergency” can hear one another! 

Reading your mind again, I can hear you saying to yourself, “Come now, Kim. It HAS been nearly two years since your sexy hubby purchased that for you. Maybe it’s simply been overused and it’s time for a new one.” Again, you are wrong. And BTW, I would appreciate you not referring to my husband as “sexy.” Yes, it’s true that Reed purchased my much-desired Motorola RAZR V3 in Hot Pink on Mother’s Day nearly two years ago…but this is two phones later. Yes, this is my THIRD Motorola RAZR V3 in HOT PINK! The first one lost all displays both inside and out so not only could I not see the time, I also could not see the caller. I believe as of January 1, 2008 it is actually against the law now to answer the phone unless you know who is calling ahead of time and without the benefit of a screen display my caller ID was useless and, therefore, illegal. So I had no choice but to warranty it. It was an easy enough transaction until they billed me for the replacement phone causing me umpteen hours of time on the phone with customer service getting the charges reversed. Very typically AT&T. 

The phone worked so-so. Some of the time I could not hear the caller, some of the time when trying to make a call I received a “call failed” message, and the rest of the time my calls were dropped leaving me chatting away for minutes before I realized my caller was no longer there. I blamed it on the cell coverage. Then we moved to Leander and it just got worse. I resorted to going upstairs in my daughter’s room and even contemplated climbing on the roof to achieve the highest elevation so I could complete a call but it was no use. It wasn’t the cell tower coverage, it was the dang phone.

Well, as my luck would have it, my second Motorola RAZR V3 in Hot Pink slipped through my shaky fingers after a rough morning at work…flew through the air over our receptionist’s huge desk…and of all places landed smack-dab in the middle of her Dixie Cup-size glass of Big Red. OK, I know that every now and then on RARE occasions I might SLIGHTLY exaggerate a story for the benefit of my readers, but this is the honest-to-God truth! Right in the Big Red she went. I grabbed it out so quick it must have only been submersed for a fraction of a second. The phone worked fine for the next few hours, but by morning it was toast. OK, this one I can’t blame on The New AT&T or Motorola. 

Now, I’m not an advocate of cell-phone insurance. I think it’s a waste of money when you figure a phone should and will probably last you at least 12 month’s (as long as it’s not the Motorola RAZR V3 in Hot Pink and as long as there are no cups of Big Red within 100 yards of it). If you figure paying the monthly insurance rate of $5 for 12 months, and then add on the $50 replacement fee, you could probably just as well find a decent phone on eBay for much less than $110 and save yourself some bucks. To top it off, did you know that your replacement is never even a NEW phone? Heck no! They send you a “refurb!” No wonder the dang replacements never last…which brings me to my current phone. 

As it turns out, my husbands boss had decided back on that fateful day in May that I would surely want the insurance, so he added it to our plan. OK, I’m reading your mind again…really does it matter why my husband’s boss has anything to do with my personal cell phone? OK, fine…the original plan was that we would add me and the kids to their business plan where my husband’s boss also had his own personal phones and we would all split the initial $60 charge and then only have to pay $9.99 for each additional phone. It was supposed to save us big money; however it never worked out that way. We pay $169/month now for our phones. Don’t ask. 

So anyway, I find out by chance that I have actually been paying for insurance on my phone all this time. Again, I can hear you!!! YES, I read my bill and NO I never saw where I was getting the insurance charge. Anyway…as I was saying, I had the insurance so I paid the $50 and 5 months later my fancy refurbished Motorola RAZR V3 in Hot Pink is what you see now. And to top it off, they’re not even cool anymore!! So now I’m stuck with this bright neon, out-of-style piece of crap that I can a) pay another $50 to get my fourth Motorola RAZR V3 in Hot Pink, refurb’ed no less (your replacement MUST be with the EXACT same item); b) wait until May when my two-year contract is up, sign another one and purchase a new phone; or c) wait until my contract is up and cancel AT&T altogether.  

I tend to lean towards “c” because as most of you know I can’t stand AT&T, hate the phone service, and hate the customer service even more…but the problem is that we have a total of 4 phones on this plan and we added them all at different times. I can’t get the kids off the plan without paying the $250 PER phone cancellation fee. If I put myself on a new plan and then add the kids as their contracts expire I then have to pay the $60 base fee on my plan PLUS a $60 base plan on the kids phones. By the time you add the additional phones, minutes and texting it’s way too expensive to do that. I can stay on the plan until everyone’s contracts expire (about another 19 months) and just purchase a cheap phone on eBay, which I will probably do. I just think it’s very unfair that cell phone providers force you into these long-term contracts and then inflict these ridiculous fees on you if you then choose to take your business elsewhere. Can you imagine if every service provider did that? What? You don’t like Dish Network anymore? Wow, that’ll be $250 to cancel please. You’re kidding? You want to cancel your auto insurance with Geico?? Wow, again…$250. Hey! Did I just catch you grocery shopping at Randall’s? Aren’t you an HEB customer? Fork over the dough, sweetie…250 big ones!

It’s absurd and insulting and the cell companies should be ashamed of themselves for taking advantage of people who desperately need 5 phones, ALL with unlimited text messaging!! With conscious’s like these, it’s no wonder these companies have no problem selling people Motorola RAZR V3’s in Hot Pink!!!