Tales From The Toybox

This is the Motorola V3 RAZR in Hot Pink

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The laws must be followed under penalty of hitting, wailing, kicking, and screaming.

Regarding Property:

1. If I’m reaching for it, it’s mine
2. If I touch it, it’s mine
3. If I am playing with it, it’s mine
4. If I was JUST playing with it, it’s still mine
5. If I so much as think about playing with it, it’s mine
6. If I give it to you and want it back, it’s mine
7. If your boss calls it while it’s in my hand…mine
8. If it changes the channels during the last 5 laps of the Indy 500…mine
9. It does not resemble anything of yours…it’s mine
10. If you blink and I take it…MINE!

Regarding Baby Brother:

1. Yes, he DOES require 100’s of kisses from me a day.
2. Yes, he DOES enjoy being kissed directly in the eye socket
3. I am learning to count so when I so cutely say, “Oooone, Twoooo” all while pulling firmly on his earlobes, leave me alone
4. Clearly he can withstand the full weight of my body on his so back off…I’m simply researching the cause of his incessant crying
5. Yes, the swing DOES go that high, can’t you see it? There must be something wrong with the batteries which is why I’m helping it out.
6. No, I am not hitting him. I am showing him my baby doll…very closely
7. Please do not hinder me from chunking diapers at the baby while you are too busy to pick him up out of his crib. I am teaching him to catch.
8. Yes, that IS Doritos in his mouth. You weren’t looking and he was hungry. Sheesh!
9. He requires several baths a day. Please allow me to continue to use half a pack of wipes to accomplish this. After all, you left the wipes within my reach. (See property laws above)
10. He has a full head of beautiful, soft hair. MUST…BRUSH….HAIR!!!

Regarding Writing Utensils:

1. All property laws apply
2. No wall is complete without my rendition of Elmo
3. The wooden floors are an exquisite canvas
4. Don’t panic. It’s nothing a bath won’t fix.
5. If you didn’t want Elmo on your weekly reports, you shouldn’t have left them waiting for me on your desk.
6. No, I can’t explain why every page you print comes out with a pre-drawn Elmo.
7. Carson is not a cute baby. Face the facts and admit he looks much better with Elmo drawn on his forehead.
8. No, I did not draw Elmo on your butt. But now that you mention it, my toilet seat painting is gone!!
9. Checkbooks are cool! You draw Elmo on one page and it magically appears on the next!
10. Elmo Art is a gift that few toddlers are given. Admit the new $1200 refrigerator looks much better once I found the PERMANENT marker!!

So the plan for the weekend was to paint our downstairs. That was the plan, anyway. We purchased 4 different shades to test and this is as far as we got.

SO, being that I was all geared up to paint and we couldn’t decide on a color for downstairs, I got a wild hair and literally on a whim decided to start with Boo’s room. I don’t know what made me do it. I had pictured in my head for over a year now a subtle pink room with delicate little flowers. Welcome to a very NON-subtle room:  (more…)

Look what I woke up to this morning…

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Sorry for such a delay in posting this. For those that were worried, I survived! I managed to drive downtown and only missed one exit. We got there early enough that I was even able to park in a covered garaged directly across the street from the Frank Erwin Center for free! Kayley was absolutely humiliated that I stopped a police officer to make sure the garage parking was free. I think it was the fact that I told him I needed to know if I should save my cash for the parking garage or go ahead and get the double cotton candy. Here is Kayley literally seconds after that discussion.  

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In less than 5 hours I have agreed to take 3 of my 6 precious children on a very dangerous adventure. I…me…je…ich…yo…εγώ…mim…私…ALL by myself will be traveling in a mini-van to downtown Austin. In traffic no less! I absolutely HATE driving downtown by myself, especially during rush-hour. But alas, this is not even close to being the most dangerous part of our adventure. (more…)